Posted by Brandon

Dear Jon Leuer,

I am writing a personal, public letter of apology for doubting you over the last year and a half. You came to the Badgers and showed so much promise, my expectations immediately jumped through the roof. You were 6’10”, could handle the ball, could hit a jump shot, and quite simply, had me at opening tip. I felt confident that you were the next big guy to have success in the Bo Ryan system, seemingly made just for you, much like my heart.

Over the next 2 years, I tried to continue my love for you, but to be fair, you made it difficult. Even at 6’10”, you seemed to find ways to end up far from the basket and refused to fight for a rebound. I like to see grit out of my Wisconsin big men and you were softer than the fresh fur of a baby kitten or the luscious grass of Lambeau Field. You insisted on shooting jump shots and put a patent on your fade away. Needless to say, once you possessed this patent, you wanted to take advantage of it and began fading away on every shot that left your delicate, girly hands. As my distaste for your game steadily grew, this year, you broke your wrist. While you were away, your teammates stepped up and this Badger team looked better than any Badger team of the past few seasons. You came back, the rhythm was interrupted, and the team struggled in a loss to the hated Golden Gophers, or as we call them, Sconnie’s Deny List. That was the last straw, the proverbial nail in the coffin for you and me. You were inducted into my Hall of Sports Hate and I was prepared to bitch, complain, and generally throw you under the bus at every opportunity.

Then it begin to happen. First, although the numbers didn’t reflect it, a solid performance against a feisty Northwestern team. Then, two blowouts where you played well. And finally, yesterday against the Illini, you had your best half as a collegiate player. In the first half, you were absolutely unstoppable. You actually drove to the basket, you shot your turnaround fade away when it was there, and to my surprise, when they defended that, you performed a beautiful, orgasmic drop step for an easy deuce. Jon, I understand that our relationship isn’t entirely healed and we may always have trust issues. My guard will always be up for the next game in which you’ll avoid the glass, driving to the basket, or making key defensive plays. But I hope we can look past these worries and focus on the beautiful music that we made yesterday. You making great plays on the basketball court, me applauding loudly from my couch, dressed in sweatpants and my Wisconsin Badger Basketball T-Shirt. You can’t deny that beauty Jon, even if you want to punish me for past transgressions.

I hope this is a rebirth for us Jon, without the placenta. We have two postseason tournaments and one more full season to watch our love blossom into the flower that I had originally thought possible. I’m sorry that I doubted you, now please, don’t break my heart.

Lovingly,

Brandon