Brandon’s 55 Percenters

The games have started and what a fantastic beginnning!  I thought I would post some picks for tonight’s games and if you all are smart, you’ll bet against me.  Let’s get to the picks!

NCAA March Madness Picks

UNLV pk over Northern Iowa

This should be a good game but as it did on my bracket, it comes down to one basic premise.  UNLV has been beating good teams all season while Northern Iowa has been dominating a down Missouri Valley Conference.  Also, I like betting on people who are also alcoholic gamblers, which I feel like has a better shot in Vegas.  Although those Iowans may disagree…

Kentucky -19 over E Tennessee St

I just don’t feel like this is enough points here.  Plus, you know Kentucky’s players won’t take a game off because then they won’t get their game check from Coach Calipari.

Marquette -1 over Washington

This has been the first round game that I have stated I am most excited about, although the great early games may have tempered that statement a little bit.  I just think Marquette is playing too well right now, and like Paul said on the podcast, Washington streaking in the Pac 10 is like being the tallest mountain in Kansas.  I like Marquette…although I hate them.  Enjoy watching Buzz Williams, he’ll be your local Chevy salesman in about 2.5 years.

Wake Forest +5.5 over Texas

To say that these two teams have struggled down the stretch is like saying that Tiger Woods enjoyed the occassional romp.  These two teams have bit it hard and I cannot possibly see giving over five points tonight.  I took Wake to win outright, so I’ll take them getting points.

There you have it, a few picks to chew on for tonight.  Enjoy the games and drink up kiddos!

All Time on ADPTP: 50-53-2 (.486)

Last Post: 3-4 (.429)

Brandon’s 55 Percenters

“If you’re going through Hell, keep going”

-Winston Churchill

My 55 Percenters have been tough lately.  I can’t buy a win.  Some would say the answer is to give up, my 55% task is too tough of one to complete, especially given that I am clearly incompetent at picking games.  But as the Churchill quote above indicates, I’m not about to stop when the fires of hell are burning around me.  I may be in Gambling Hell, but on the other end, there is a pile of brackets, 100’s and a Badger National Championship beckoning me.  March Madness is the time for me to finish my drive through hell, and much like Andy Dufresne, I intend on coming out of this stretch of shit smelling foulness clean on the other side.  So I dedicate this edition of the 55 Percenters to Shawshank Redemption.  Today, we get that shit smelling foulness that is some terrible teams playing basketball that moderately resembles March Madness out of the way.  A winning record and a day later, the real March Madness will begin, with the second round of the Big East tourney.  Let’s get to it, with a Shawshank quote for every game of course.

“I don’t know; every man has his breaking point”

- Red

South Florida/DePaul Over 124.5

This is my breaking point.  I made Jake write this one down earlier because it started at 11 AM and I wanted to make sure it counted.  Naturally it ended at 107, not even in the ballpark of a win for this guy.  I feel like Andy after the Sisters got through with him.  Let’s move on.

“Get busy living, or get busy dying”

- Red

Seton Hall -6 over Providence

It may be pure stupidity, but I won’t let that USF/DePaul game end my fight.  An 0-1 start to a day is not the end.  I think Seton Hall is a solid team and can beat the piss poor talent that the Friars toss out on the court.  Seton Hall just beat the Friars by 12 on the road recently, so I love them -6 on a neutral court.  Like Red said, I’ve only got two choices, and I’m not about to watch my gambling career die in front of my eyes.  I may well end up broke, alone and with a sub 40% picking record, but at least I can enjoy watching a random game between Seton Hall and Providence at MSG.

“One day, when I have a long gray beard and two or three marbles rollin’ around upstairs, they’ll let me out”

- Red

ST BONAVENTURE -1.5 over Duquesne

I feel like they may let me out of Gambling Hell because in picking this game I am clearly down to a few marbles.  I mean sure, I haven’t actually watched either of these teams this year and I haven’t actually heard anything about them either, but have you seen the Bonnies home record?!??!  Their 10-4 record at home compared to Duquesne’s 3-10 road mark sounds like -1.5 should hit to me.  Give me the Bonnies baby!

“You’re gonna look real funny sucking my dick with no teeth”

- Captain Hadley

North Texas/Troy Under 139

I’m going to look really silly myself if I bother with the North Texas / Troy Sun Belt Championship Game only to end up with the loss.  I like the under here, so needless to say, you should probably hit the over pretty hard.  Also needless to say, I have nothing else to say about this game.

“The man’s been in here fifty years, Heywood. Fifty years! This is all he knows. In here, he’s an important man. An educated man. Outside, he’s nothin’!”

- Red

BUTLER -7 over Wright St & Butler/Wright St OVER 121.5

Red’s quote about Brooks is dedicated to Butler, who in the Horizon League, is an important team.  Outside?  They will once again tumble in the tournament when they play real teams with legitimate talent.  Please spare me any arguments stating that Butler is ranked highly and an actual contender.  They’ll dominate the Horizon Finals tonight, go into the NCAA’s with analysts raving about the “fantastic” Matt Howard before everyone once again realizes that unathletic, semi-tall white guys don’t equal tournament wins.

“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies”

- Andy Dufresne

IUPUI +1.5 over Oakland

Andy’s iconic quote goes to my final pick of the evening, which doesn’t need any explanation as you clearly do not care about this game.  I will continue to hope that I can achieve my goal of hitting 55% of my picks long term but I wouldn’t blame any of you for actively betting against me at this point.  Just remember that I believe and when I finally achieve my goal, I’ll be happier than Andy Dufresne in Zihuatanejo.

All Time on ADPTP: 47-49-2 (.490)

Last Post: 0-2 (.000) <—- that’s bad

An Open Letter of Apology to Jon Leuer

Posted by Brandon

Dear Jon Leuer,

I am writing a personal, public letter of apology for doubting you over the last year and a half. You came to the Badgers and showed so much promise, my expectations immediately jumped through the roof. You were 6’10”, could handle the ball, could hit a jump shot, and quite simply, had me at opening tip. I felt confident that you were the next big guy to have success in the Bo Ryan system, seemingly made just for you, much like my heart.

Over the next 2 years, I tried to continue my love for you, but to be fair, you made it difficult. Even at 6’10”, you seemed to find ways to end up far from the basket and refused to fight for a rebound. I like to see grit out of my Wisconsin big men and you were softer than the fresh fur of a baby kitten or the luscious grass of Lambeau Field. You insisted on shooting jump shots and put a patent on your fade away. Needless to say, once you possessed this patent, you wanted to take advantage of it and began fading away on every shot that left your delicate, girly hands. As my distaste for your game steadily grew, this year, you broke your wrist. While you were away, your teammates stepped up and this Badger team looked better than any Badger team of the past few seasons. You came back, the rhythm was interrupted, and the team struggled in a loss to the hated Golden Gophers, or as we call them, Sconnie’s Deny List. That was the last straw, the proverbial nail in the coffin for you and me. You were inducted into my Hall of Sports Hate and I was prepared to bitch, complain, and generally throw you under the bus at every opportunity.

Then it begin to happen. First, although the numbers didn’t reflect it, a solid performance against a feisty Northwestern team. Then, two blowouts where you played well. And finally, yesterday against the Illini, you had your best half as a collegiate player. In the first half, you were absolutely unstoppable. You actually drove to the basket, you shot your turnaround fade away when it was there, and to my surprise, when they defended that, you performed a beautiful, orgasmic drop step for an easy deuce. Jon, I understand that our relationship isn’t entirely healed and we may always have trust issues. My guard will always be up for the next game in which you’ll avoid the glass, driving to the basket, or making key defensive plays. But I hope we can look past these worries and focus on the beautiful music that we made yesterday. You making great plays on the basketball court, me applauding loudly from my couch, dressed in sweatpants and my Wisconsin Badger Basketball T-Shirt. You can’t deny that beauty Jon, even if you want to punish me for past transgressions.

I hope this is a rebirth for us Jon, without the placenta. We have two postseason tournaments and one more full season to watch our love blossom into the flower that I had originally thought possible. I’m sorry that I doubted you, now please, don’t break my heart.

Lovingly,

Brandon

Theme created by: Roy David Farber. Based on concepts from: Hunson's Black and Blue Eyes theme. Powered By: Tumblr.
1 of 1