posted by Jake

We are posting our picks again instead of podcasting them in what has seemingly become a staple here at ADPTP. It should really come as no surprise though, seeing as both of us are insanely lazy and no one listens to it anyway. This week just did not work out for us, Brandon is heading to Las Vegas tomorrow and as soon as I am done with work today, cue Diddy because I am heading back to Wisconsin. I won last weekend putting me at 3-1 over Brandon. It would be a much more comfortable lead if we were going off picks instead of just weeks won. In picking every game ATS I have gone a bananas 34-27-3 while Brandon has a putrid record of 23-38-3. Sometime I wish I was not so goddamned smart, but it’s my cross to bear. These may be a longer write up because the more time I spend rambling about random NFL games the less time I spend obsessing over the Brewers game 5 against Arizona tonight. And yes, it would not be a ‘posted by Jake’ unless I somehow brought it back to baseball. I can not wait for the game tonight to be over, I have been wracking my brain since Wednesday night, I need things to go back to normal in my head. Which if there was a diagram is really just a Rune Goldberg contraption… but the end result is always a bukkake reference while 7th Floor Crew is constantly playing in the background. Anywho, one of the things that has aided me to such a dominant lead over Brandon is that we have differed a lot while picking the lines. But with this week not having ‘samesies’ is (*spoiler alert*) not the case though, which is bad news for me. Now to the picks (note: these are not the currents lines, but what we bet them at the time).

INDIANAPOLIS (-1) over Kansas City

Brandon IND -1/Jake IND -1

This is the Backup Quarterback Bowl. Neither team can run the ball and both have QB’s who have been spectacularly mediocre. I will not be watching this game, and neither should you.

MINNESOTA (-1) over Arizona

Brandon Min -1/Jake Ari +1

Brandon has faith that the Minnesota Vikings can beat the Arizona Cardinals. I do not share his enthusiasm for the Vikings. They have not proven that they can beat anyone this year, and have (for some reason) abandoned the run game.

Philadelphia (-1.5) over BUFFALO

Brandon Phi -1.5/Jake Buf +1.5

This is not the smartest bet on my part - but for some reason I trust Fred Jackson to run all over Philly and trust Ryan Fitzpatrick (as Patrick Fitzryan) to manage the game… if only ‘cause he’s Havahd smaht. If the Eagles have proven one thing all season it is that they find ways to lose football games… that and they overpaid for Vick. Do not get me wrong, Mike Vick is an amazing talent but he takes too many hits which means he has injury problems. Those problems have led to him wearing a Kevlar vest and Kevlar laced helmet, but luckily for Buffalo none of that protection has changed the way Michael Vick turns over the football. I also picked against the Eagles because (as everyone knows) the city of Philadelphia was put on Earth as punishment by god for the sins of man.

HOUSTON (-5.5) over Al Davis

Brandon AD +5.5/Jake AD +5.5

Siegs and I always seem to be questioning the unabashed love for the Houston Texans. Every season they are the sexy pick to win the AFC South (and I picked them this year) and are usually favored or get unusually close lines. On the other side of the ball the Raiders have proven that if they don’t commit stupid penalties they play pretty good defense and can pound the rock. Against a team like that 5.5 is too much and Brandon and I agree.

New Orleans (-6.5) over CAROLINA

Brandon Car +6.5/Jake NO -6.5

Another disagreement between the two of us. I look at Carolina as a mediocre team with an overachieving quarterback playing against a Super Bowl quality team. I think Nawlans rolls here and Siegs trusts Cam Newton to keep Sir Purr in the game.

JACKSONVILLE (-1) over Cincinnati

Brandon Cin +1/Jake Cin+1

Woof. Here’s what I do not understand about this line. Blaine Gabbert has not shown he understands how to read NFL defenses and (although bad) the Bengals have won a few games, how are the Jags favored? I realize the home is three points, but still.

PITTSBURGH (-3) over Tennessee

Brandon Pit -3/Jake Pit - 3

I wanted to take Tennessee so bad in this one. They have a solid running game and a surprisingly effective defense. But the Steelers have Ben Roethlisberger. At this point, what can really be said about Big Ben that hasn’t already been said in a co-ed’s deposition? The guy performs whether you like it or not. And even though he has a sprained foot, injury is when he seems to really turn it up.

NEW YORK (football) GIANTS (-9.5) over Seattle

Brandon NYG -9.5/Jake NYG -9.5

I was seemingly one of the few people who believed in the Giants before the season started. They have good enough of a defense (even with all of the injuries), a solid running game, and a decent enough receiving core. I look at the Giants a lot like Green Bay Packers Lite. The front office has layered this team. They can take a few hits on defense and let guys like Kevin Boss and Steve Smith go without taking a major hit to the overall quality of the team. On the other side of the ball, Seattle is one of the worst teams in the NFL with Tavaris Jackson starting at quarterback… you do the math.

SAN FRANCISCO (-3) over Tampa Bay

Brandon TB +3/Jake TB +3

Tampa is an odd team to figure out. They were the media’s darling last year, then this year when I assumed all the NFL pundits would be dripping wet for Freeman and the Bucs all of them said they were, ‘still a few years away’. I guess they were right. They have looked inconsistent all year, dominating Atlanta then a few weeks later barely beating the Colts (trailing most of the game). That being said, the Niners (although I have bet with them the last two weeks) are 28th in total yards and even at 3-1 I trust TB more than SF.

NEW ENGLAND (-9) over New York Jets

Brandon NE -9/Jake NE -9

This team’s struggles have to be Rex Ryan’s worst nightmare… that or waking up and his wife’s feet have been amputated. In the past the Jets who have prided themselves on defense and pounding the rock and have not done either particularly well this season. The Patriots on the other hand have looked as dominant as advertised in all but one game… a game they were leading by 21 at one point. Or, I will put it another way. You best bet wit’ tha Greatriots, or is you one of dem fahkin’ queahs from Toonie?

San Diego (-3.5) over DENVER

Brandon SD -3.5/Jake SD -3.5

It is after September and before the postseason, which means the Chargers are free to dominate every team in the NFL.

Green Bay (-6) over ATLANTA

Brandon GB -6/Jake GB -6

This game makes me nervous. Although the Dirty’ Dirty has looked less than stellar all season they are still one of the more talented teams in THE National Football League (~Ron Jaworski). Not only that, but they have a bone to pick with our beloved Green Bay Packers because we embarrassed the Falcons last year in the playoffs and (as aforementioned) have not looked the same since. But… Rodgers is looking like an MVP candidate and the Packers have looked like the most complete team in the NFL… plus, we’re both wild Homers.

DETROIT (-5.5) over Chicago

Brandon Det -5.5/Jake Det -5.5

Here are two facts involving this game. Fact 1: Calvin Johnson is probably the best receiver in football (if only because it seems he can jump 15 feet in the air so he wins every jump ball). And Fact 2: Brandon Meriweather fucking LOVES illegally hitting other players. I think he gets jealous when everyone refers to Rodney Harrison as the dirtiest player of all time. I watched most of the Bears/Panthers game last weekend and Meriweather was all over the field… leading with his helmet. Then again, Meriweather did attend The U so he is no stranger to an abundance of swagger while defying authority… I mean this is the place place the produced the 7th Floor Crew. And that my friends, is what we refer to as a ‘call back’ in the business.