posted by Jake

I am going to be completely honest, the odds of me making it to the year 2015 are slim to none. Luckily, Nike has finally answered my e-mails describing my dangerous lifestyle and need for power-lacing Marty McFly Back to the Future II shoes before the predicted year in the film. Nike is auctioning off 150 pair of these exact shoes to help out the Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Disease Research. Back to the Future II is one of the seminal movies of my childhood (and far superior to Back to the Future III, regardless of what coward Joe Geisheker says) so naturally I must own a pair. I mean, they can’t be that expensive right? Abwhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? I wear size 11 which means at the time I am writing this the cheapest pair I could bid on are at $4,750. I understand it is for a great cause, but if I am paying 5 large for a pair of tennies I better nab better pussy than Leah Thompson. I don’t mean to be a dick, but let’s call a spade a spade here. She was average looking (at best) in 1985, 1955, 2015, and 1885… respectively.