posted by Jake

A fan has sent us his Hatred Power Rankings. How sweet that my boiling over rage has spilled over to our all of our fans (7 to be exact, thanks to my mom and her bridge friends). I will not sit back and let them speak for themselves - I will add ed. notes that will be in italics, you can also read my Badgers/Sparty preview at Chi City Sports. The picture will make sense later.

Justin from Oregon writes…

This is my sports only Hatred Power Rankings. Note: Even though the list is 1-5, #1 is like two orders of magnitude more hate than #2.  I’d like him dead (ed. note: our lawyers would like to point out that Al Davis Plus the Points does not support that murder or accidental death of any current, or past sports personality).

5. Jay Cutler: His whinny bitch act on the sidelines gets old, I enjoy it to a degree because he’s getting hammered, but it still is infuriating.
4. BCS system: Seriously, give me a 16 team tournament. The BCS system encourages cupcake non-conference schedules, because for most teams one loss means no chance. (Here are my points for pro BCS - 1. if you want to play in the title game, do not lose… god, what is that word for that? Oh yeah… a playoff. Every week is a playoff. But, waaaaaah waaaaaah Boise does not get to participate. Yeah, because they play essentially New Mexico State 12 times a year. What’s next, the winner of the NIT plays a best of 7 series to see who is REALLY the champion? 2. other than when Auburn went undefeated and did not play, name another year when the two best teams in the country did not play for the BCS title… go ahead, I will wait)
3. Compton Business Cats: Revenge Part 2 coming Sunday, November 20. (this may be a little too ‘inside baseball’ but the Business Cats are my fantasy team for the Keeper League and our lovely writer is still angry because I beat him Week 1 then lost my best running back and I am still in first place in our division. Also, I have an old school WWF style rivalry with him. New Quick Hatred Power Ranking - 1. Justin from Oregon - stop putting two spaces between a period and the new sentence so I do not have to edit your e-mails for 15 minutes before posting them. This is a blog post not your fourth grade report about Tom Sawyer… the picture on the left I think sums up the two words I have for you. November 20th, Week 11 #bartscott.)
2. Tony LaRussa: A crybaby bitch. Why don’t you get drunk and pass out at a red light?  At least he didn’t kill anyone. (the twitter account @OldHossRadbourn said it best, (paraphrasing) ‘you know for a guy who we constantly make fun of as a drunkard, he sure manages in the World Series a lot’.)

1. Yadier Molina: The guys is a douche, prick, asshole, and a good baseball player. I hate him more than any player in professional sports. (finally, something we can agree on… although he is the best all around catcher in Major League Baseball. I think Yadier also echoes me sentiments from Point 3. Kisses, your ed.)

posted by Jake

We are posting our picks again instead of podcasting them in what has seemingly become a staple here at ADPTP. It should really come as no surprise though, seeing as both of us are insanely lazy and no one listens to it anyway. This week just did not work out for us, Brandon is heading to Las Vegas tomorrow and as soon as I am done with work today, cue Diddy because I am heading back to Wisconsin. I won last weekend putting me at 3-1 over Brandon. It would be a much more comfortable lead if we were going off picks instead of just weeks won. In picking every game ATS I have gone a bananas 34-27-3 while Brandon has a putrid record of 23-38-3. Sometime I wish I was not so goddamned smart, but it’s my cross to bear. These may be a longer write up because the more time I spend rambling about random NFL games the less time I spend obsessing over the Brewers game 5 against Arizona tonight. And yes, it would not be a ‘posted by Jake’ unless I somehow brought it back to baseball. I can not wait for the game tonight to be over, I have been wracking my brain since Wednesday night, I need things to go back to normal in my head. Which if there was a diagram is really just a Rune Goldberg contraption… but the end result is always a bukkake reference while 7th Floor Crew is constantly playing in the background. Anywho, one of the things that has aided me to such a dominant lead over Brandon is that we have differed a lot while picking the lines. But with this week not having ‘samesies’ is (*spoiler alert*) not the case though, which is bad news for me. Now to the picks (note: these are not the currents lines, but what we bet them at the time).

INDIANAPOLIS (-1) over Kansas City

Brandon IND -1/Jake IND -1

This is the Backup Quarterback Bowl. Neither team can run the ball and both have QB’s who have been spectacularly mediocre. I will not be watching this game, and neither should you.

MINNESOTA (-1) over Arizona

Brandon Min -1/Jake Ari +1

Brandon has faith that the Minnesota Vikings can beat the Arizona Cardinals. I do not share his enthusiasm for the Vikings. They have not proven that they can beat anyone this year, and have (for some reason) abandoned the run game.

Philadelphia (-1.5) over BUFFALO

Brandon Phi -1.5/Jake Buf +1.5

This is not the smartest bet on my part - but for some reason I trust Fred Jackson to run all over Philly and trust Ryan Fitzpatrick (as Patrick Fitzryan) to manage the game… if only ‘cause he’s Havahd smaht. If the Eagles have proven one thing all season it is that they find ways to lose football games… that and they overpaid for Vick. Do not get me wrong, Mike Vick is an amazing talent but he takes too many hits which means he has injury problems. Those problems have led to him wearing a Kevlar vest and Kevlar laced helmet, but luckily for Buffalo none of that protection has changed the way Michael Vick turns over the football. I also picked against the Eagles because (as everyone knows) the city of Philadelphia was put on Earth as punishment by god for the sins of man.

HOUSTON (-5.5) over Al Davis

Brandon AD +5.5/Jake AD +5.5

Siegs and I always seem to be questioning the unabashed love for the Houston Texans. Every season they are the sexy pick to win the AFC South (and I picked them this year) and are usually favored or get unusually close lines. On the other side of the ball the Raiders have proven that if they don’t commit stupid penalties they play pretty good defense and can pound the rock. Against a team like that 5.5 is too much and Brandon and I agree.

New Orleans (-6.5) over CAROLINA

Brandon Car +6.5/Jake NO -6.5

Another disagreement between the two of us. I look at Carolina as a mediocre team with an overachieving quarterback playing against a Super Bowl quality team. I think Nawlans rolls here and Siegs trusts Cam Newton to keep Sir Purr in the game.

JACKSONVILLE (-1) over Cincinnati

Brandon Cin +1/Jake Cin+1

Woof. Here’s what I do not understand about this line. Blaine Gabbert has not shown he understands how to read NFL defenses and (although bad) the Bengals have won a few games, how are the Jags favored? I realize the home is three points, but still.

PITTSBURGH (-3) over Tennessee

Brandon Pit -3/Jake Pit - 3

I wanted to take Tennessee so bad in this one. They have a solid running game and a surprisingly effective defense. But the Steelers have Ben Roethlisberger. At this point, what can really be said about Big Ben that hasn’t already been said in a co-ed’s deposition? The guy performs whether you like it or not. And even though he has a sprained foot, injury is when he seems to really turn it up.

NEW YORK (football) GIANTS (-9.5) over Seattle

Brandon NYG -9.5/Jake NYG -9.5

I was seemingly one of the few people who believed in the Giants before the season started. They have good enough of a defense (even with all of the injuries), a solid running game, and a decent enough receiving core. I look at the Giants a lot like Green Bay Packers Lite. The front office has layered this team. They can take a few hits on defense and let guys like Kevin Boss and Steve Smith go without taking a major hit to the overall quality of the team. On the other side of the ball, Seattle is one of the worst teams in the NFL with Tavaris Jackson starting at quarterback… you do the math.

SAN FRANCISCO (-3) over Tampa Bay

Brandon TB +3/Jake TB +3

Tampa is an odd team to figure out. They were the media’s darling last year, then this year when I assumed all the NFL pundits would be dripping wet for Freeman and the Bucs all of them said they were, ‘still a few years away’. I guess they were right. They have looked inconsistent all year, dominating Atlanta then a few weeks later barely beating the Colts (trailing most of the game). That being said, the Niners (although I have bet with them the last two weeks) are 28th in total yards and even at 3-1 I trust TB more than SF.

NEW ENGLAND (-9) over New York Jets

Brandon NE -9/Jake NE -9

This team’s struggles have to be Rex Ryan’s worst nightmare… that or waking up and his wife’s feet have been amputated. In the past the Jets who have prided themselves on defense and pounding the rock and have not done either particularly well this season. The Patriots on the other hand have looked as dominant as advertised in all but one game… a game they were leading by 21 at one point. Or, I will put it another way. You best bet wit’ tha Greatriots, or is you one of dem fahkin’ queahs from Toonie?

San Diego (-3.5) over DENVER

Brandon SD -3.5/Jake SD -3.5

It is after September and before the postseason, which means the Chargers are free to dominate every team in the NFL.

Green Bay (-6) over ATLANTA

Brandon GB -6/Jake GB -6

This game makes me nervous. Although the Dirty’ Dirty has looked less than stellar all season they are still one of the more talented teams in THE National Football League (~Ron Jaworski). Not only that, but they have a bone to pick with our beloved Green Bay Packers because we embarrassed the Falcons last year in the playoffs and (as aforementioned) have not looked the same since. But… Rodgers is looking like an MVP candidate and the Packers have looked like the most complete team in the NFL… plus, we’re both wild Homers.

DETROIT (-5.5) over Chicago

Brandon Det -5.5/Jake Det -5.5

Here are two facts involving this game. Fact 1: Calvin Johnson is probably the best receiver in football (if only because it seems he can jump 15 feet in the air so he wins every jump ball). And Fact 2: Brandon Meriweather fucking LOVES illegally hitting other players. I think he gets jealous when everyone refers to Rodney Harrison as the dirtiest player of all time. I watched most of the Bears/Panthers game last weekend and Meriweather was all over the field… leading with his helmet. Then again, Meriweather did attend The U so he is no stranger to an abundance of swagger while defying authority… I mean this is the place place the produced the 7th Floor Crew. And that my friends, is what we refer to as a ‘call back’ in the business.

posted by Jake

The reason this one is titled as it is, is basically because I don’t feel like writing something today yet feel obligated to post because I bet a few games. I realize it would be better if I made jokes about the South, or Detroit (all involved in my picks) but I just do not have it in me. Although, I am not half as bad as this chick. I typed ‘disappointment’ into Google image search and this is what came up (as well as several pictures of my parents). Look at this broad, that’s not disappoint - that is bottomless sadness. She looks seconds away from drawing a bath, throwing on Sinead O’Conner and just letting go. Dark enough for you? Good, let’s move to the bets. Also note: these are not the current lines, they are what I bet them at.

NCAA Football

#15 Baylor (-3.5) over KANSAS STATE - one of the more interesting stats I have heard this college football season is that the Baylor Bears have thrown more touchdowns than incomplete passes. Does that not seem bananas? Baylor is one of the fastest offenses in the entire NCAA landscape, the only thing that makes me nervous is that KState is 3-0 ATS this season and a decent home team.

#3 Alabama (-3.5) over #12 FLORIDA - I am not really sure why, but I fucking love this bet. As we had discussed on the podcast (which I know no one listened to) Brandon and I agree that LSU deserves the #1 spot in the country… but Alabama is talent wise the best in college football. Also, I watched Florida play last year, it was a joke. I do not believe that Will Muschamp has turned the program around that quickly. Plus, how can you trust a team who proudly produces this (BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHM) to be competitive in the SEC? I look for Alabama to roll… tide (see what I did there).

THE National Football League ~Ron Jaworski

Tennessee (+1) over CLEVELAND - after I stop talking about good I think Colt McCoy could be (even though he’s still a pussy for that National Title game) and pretend that Montario Hardesty will be worth anything in the coming years, I realize the Browns still are not that good. Even though I think the front office is sailing the ship in the right direction, Captain Pussington McShoulderhurts (McCoy) does not really have a receiving core and the defense leaves something to be desired. I also think the Titans may be wildly mediocre, exceeding my expectations of them by miles.

Detroit (+2.5) over DALLAS - I tweeted after Dallas’ Monday Night Football game against the Redskins that ‘I can not wait to bet heavily against Dallas for the rest of the season’. So, here we go. The problem is, I am not entirely certain how good Detroit is. I will admit that I was wrong about them when I called them my NFC Disappointment but who have they really beat? Let us not forget that even though they are 3-0, the opponents they have beat are a combined 2-7 and were as recently as two quarters of football ago down 20 points to the Vikings. I just hope for fantasy’s sake that Megatron has 9 catches for 391 yards and 13 td’s (I realize that may not add up properly, but I wasn’t a Math Major… lay off nerd).

New York Giants (-1) over ARIZONA - I am taking 5 road teams to cover in this post… that usually ends well, right? Listen Eli Manning is a decent enough quarterback, and the defense is wildly ‘meh’. I am betting this because the past couple of years Arizona has had the worst pass defense in the league. I am not using hyperbole, they have literally been the worst team in the league against the pass for 3 years straight. Plus on top of that, (insert clever about Kevin Kolb to end the post). Sorry guys, like I said - I’ve got nothing.

2011 ‘Mikey’s Record - 21-14-3 (.592)

All-Time ‘Mikey’s Record - 70-39-5 (.636)

Last Post – 4-2 (.667)

Posted by Brandon

As Jake mentioned, there is again no podcast this week, which disappoints our massive following. Jake threw me under the bus for back to back weeks with no podcast, but I know that you aren’t naive enough to believe him. Tuesday night, instead of doing the podcast, we decided to drink beer and watch the Brewers close in on the NL Central title (since clinched!) while they were in Chicago. This was of course after we ate dinner at Lucky’s, known for ridiculously large sandwiches stuffed with meat, cheese, coleslaw, and french fries. I even added a fried egg on mine, like a real man. We couldn’t do the poddy this weekend because Jake was going to a wedding and “couldn’t wait to see two beautiful souls merged into one in holy matrimony”.

The post of our picks looked awful last week so I am going to change the format a little. I may be down 2-0 so far this season, but my 55 Percenters today give me the feeling of a turning tide. That’s right, assuming Oregon’s 35-9 lead holds for my -15 pick, I’ll be 7-0 on my college picks today and I’m going to try to parlay that into some NFL success. I’ll give the line, Jake’s pick, my pick, and then if it tempts me enough to make it a 55er.

CINCINNATI -2.5 over San Francisco  

Jake - SF +2.5 / Brandon - Cin -2.5

I don’t see why San Francisco continues to get Vegas love, what have they done to make us think they are better than Cincinnati, thus avoiding the normal three point line? Factor in the famous “West coast team playing a 1 o’clock game” and I’ll even make this a 55 Percenter.

55 Percenter: Cincinnati -2.5

NEW ENGLAND -8 over Buffalo

Jake - NE -8 / Brandon - NE -8

This line has actually dropped to -7, many people obviously liking what they have seen from Buffalo early this season. I’m with Jake, I can’t pick against Brady with how hot he has started this season. With that said, I do like this Buffalo team and won’t pick against them at home for a 55er. I do love points though, so let’s officially take the over. (Pictured right: Tom Brady after he is told that ADPTP believes he is THE GREATEST QUARTERBACK OF ALL TIME.)

55 Percenter: NE/BUF OVER 54

NEW ORLEANS -4 over Houston

Jake - NO -4 / Brandon - NO -4

I refuse to drink the Houston Kool-Aid. I’ve fallen for it before and know that they are teasing us. Remember, as I said in my NFL Preview, Gary Kubiak is Norv Turner Ice.

55 Percenter: New Orleans -4

PHILADELPHIA -5 over New York Giants

Jake - Phi -5 / Brandon - Phi -5

When we picked this line, Mike Vick was still up in the air, so it has since jumped to -8.5. I do not believe in this Giant team at all and think the Eagles crowd will be raucous in the home opener. Let’s make it a 55 Percenter, even at -8.5.

55 Percenter: Philadelphia -8.5

CLEVELAND -1.5 over Miami

Jake - Mia +1.5 / Brandon - Cle -1.5

Flip a coin. Woof, I wouldn’t dare make this one of my official picks because then I’d have to pay attention to the game.

TENNESSEE -7 over Denver

Jake - Den +7 / Brandon - Den +7

I’ve come around on Tennessee and actually think that they will give the Texans a run for the South (based just as strongly on my Texans opinion as Titans). With that said, I am shocked to see them laying a touchdown. Jake and I agree on the pick, but I’m not confident enough to make it a 55 Percenter.

Detroit -3.5 over MINNESOTA

Jake - Det -3.5 / Brandon - Det -3.5

Yes, Detroit hasn’t won in Minnesota in many years. Yes, Detroit has a history of letting their fans down. But why on earth has this line now dropped to Det -3? 55er? Yes please.

55 Percenter: Detroit -3

CAROLINA -3.5 over Jacksonville

Jake - Jax +3.5 / Brandon - Car -3.5

Everybody, settle down over Cam Newton. I agree, he has looked much better than expected and has made some throws that make it clear he will be a good quarterback in this league. But as The Herd said all week, he is 0-2 and has more interceptions than touchdowns. But, even with that said, I haven’t even seen that much from Blaine Gabbert on the other sideline, so I’ll lay the points and make this a difference with Jake. I do not have the confidence in Cam to make it an official pick though.

SAN DIEGO -14.5 over Kansas City

Jake - SD -14.5 / Brandon - SD -14.5

This one is easy, the Chiefs have been awful and have lost their two best players for the year. I want to make this a 55 Percenter, but have a strange hunch not to. For no logical reason, I’m going to show restraint.

NEW YORK JETS -3.5 over Oakland

Jake - Oak +3.5 / Brandon - Oak +3.5

Our Al Davis’ should not be giving over a field goal at home. I actually like them to pull out the upset outright but am not quite confident enough to make it a 55er. If you want to bet it, I’d be tempted by that +140 money line.

Baltimore -4 over ST. LOUIS

Jake - Bal -4 / Brandon - Bal -4

This is a league of motivation and due to that, this should be a great game. Baltimore wants to rebound from their bad showing last week and St. Louis will not want to start 0-3. Despite my doubts in Baltimore big picture, I like a focused Ravens team against a banged up NFC West squad coming off of a short week. Let’s make it official too, despite the slight shift.

55 Percenter: Baltimore -5

TAMPA BAY -1.5 over Atlanta

Jake - Atl +1.5 / Brandon - TB -1.5

A fundamental difference between Jake and I is the Atlanta Falcons. In fact, we made a drunken bet at our fantasy draft on the Falcons over or under 10.5 wins for the regular season. I’m not sold on this Tampa team, and definitely won’t make this a 55er, but do like this being a difference for us on Sunday.

Arizona -3.5 over SEATTLE

Jake - Arz -3.5 / Brandon - Sea +3.5

I know, I’m crazy picking Seattle. But home field has made the biggest difference for them over any team the last few years, with a ridiculous 12ish point swing between home and road results. I think Arizona is better and certainly won’t put money on Seattle, but will take a flier on them for my contest pick.

Green Bay -3.5 over CHICAGO

Jake - GB -3.5 / Brandon - GB -3.5

We may be homers, but it isn’t just us, this line has shifted to GB -4. They are the better team, and despite a history of close games, I’m riding the champs.

55 Percenter: Green Bay -4

Pittsburgh -10.5 over INDIANAPOLIS

Jake - Pit -10.5 / Brandon - Pit -10.5

How does Indy score? I can’t figure it out and from his look on the sideline, either can Jim Caldwell. Steelers roll.

55 Percenter: Pittsburgh -10.5

DALLAS -3.5 over Washington

Jake - Dal -3.5 / Brandon - Wash +3.5

Call me a believer in the Redskins. I’m not getting carried away, I don’t think they are a NFC contender, but I think they’ll win 8-9 games. If Romo plays, this line likely jumps to 6 or 7, in which case I’d make this a 55er for the Skins. As is, I’ll just make it a difference.

55 Percenters (Pending Oregon, don’t fuck it up Chip Kelly)

2011 - 2012 Season Record: 11-4-0 (.733)

All Time on ADPTP: 140-133-4 (.513)

Last Post: 7-0 (1.000)

The chorus has been getting louder and I now hear it from all directions: college athletes deserve to be paid! The argument is easy. College football brings in monster crowds and huge profits to universities. Beyond that, schools can sell players jerseys and reap all the benefits, while the college athlete being marketed gets nothing.

These arguments are wrong, college athletes should not be paid. There is a crowd that agrees with me, but for the most part, their arguments are either flawed or easily argued against. The main argument against paying athletes is that they are already being paid. Athletes receive the opportunity for a free education at great institutions across the country. While people like me are still paying off student loans from college, former athletes have a zero balance when it is all said and done. On top of that, they get free meals, free swag, and are hardly living in the same situation as most college kids.

The argument against this is pretty easy, even though I disagree with it. Those who believe that athletes should be paid will point to the fact that many college athletes barely go to class and get nowhere near the education that universities say they receive. While I would say that is each individual’s prerogative, they receive the opportunity for a free education, I’ll let the argument slide. We can count the free education because many athletes never receive it, especially those who are stars destined for profession sports.

The other common argument against paying athletes is that despite the appearance of being poor, these athletes are getting cash from boosters left and right. $100 hand shakes are common and to pretend that these athletes get no money from their endeavors is naive. Again, I agree with that argument but it is flawed. The NCAA can never admit that such practices are common. More importantly, if the athletes were paid, these infractions would no longer have to go on. In fact, this argument is often the reason that people claim athletes should be paid. They claim it would stop much of what is wrong with college athletics today. So again, I’ll let this argument go.

The reason athletes shouldn’t and can’t be paid is because instituting a system to do so is impossible. How do we decide which athletes get paid? Football is the money maker (even Duke lost money last season on college basketball), so it seems like the natural place to start. Let’s use a player like Mark Ingram. He was a star at Alabama, won a Heisman Trophy, and led his team to a National Championship. Naturally, he brought in unbelievable amounts of money to the University of Alabama. So let’s pay guys like Mark Ingram. At this point, I have no problem.

But now we have to expand. If Mark Ingram gets paid, we have to pay every player on the team. Once you start paying these players, Title 9 comes in. We have to spend equally on women’s sports. Once an athlete gets paid the domino effect is clear: every single college athlete has to be paid. Even if a school like Alabama could handle that, which I highly doubt, what does a school like Indiana do? Their football program is in shambles, they have a tiny basketball gym, and clearly aren’t raking in money at the same rate. In this time of poorly funded state universities, we expect them to put their sports programs further in the red as they pay thousands of athletes each month? It just isn’t practical.

One response to this is to pay athletes only based upon a portion of the gate profits at their teams’ games. That leaves a few problems. First, I hardly claim to be an expert, but Title 9 doesn’t care what the gate is: expenses on men’s and women’s sports must be equal. Second, this still leaves players whose jerseys are being sold without any compensation. And third, one rarely discussed, is that schools aren’t tied to any NCAA rule. If the NCAA passed a rule to pay athletes, major schools like Texas would simply leave the NCAA. Once that process began, the other major schools would follow. Schools are not going to willingly walk from the profits that they are accustomed to.

In the end, if you are going to argue that athletes need to be paid, you need to answer how these issues can be corrected. Every time I bring up these practical issues, the person on the other side simply dodges the issue and says they need to be paid. This isn’t the US government, you can’t just throw out new programs without thinking through the consequences.

With that said, I will now try to make some money off of college athletes!

Florida St./CLEMSON OVER 47.5

I was a whopping 10 points off when I predicted this line, I cannot possible see how this is the number. Don’t be fooled by Florida St’s low scoring game with Oklahoma, this game flies over.

Oregon -15 over ARIZONA

Arizona isn’t very good and they have little chance of stopping the Oregon offense. I’ll likely spend most of this game in an internal debate over whether I dislike Chip Kelly or Mike Stoops more.

Oklahoma St +4.5 over TEXAS A&M

A&M is led by Mike Sherman and his breast high pant line. Oklahoma St is led by Mike Gundy who is a man…he’s in his forties.

Ucla +4 over OREGON ST

I hate this bet, but think both teams are awful and this line should be three. This is probably my guaranteed loser.

Lsu -6 over WEST VIRGINIA

I know the hicks and inbreds will be loud in a night game at Morgantown, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t think the Mountaineers will be able to move the ball.

WASHINGTON pk over Cal

Whatever.

ALABAMA -11 over Arkansas

I think Arkansas is a bit overrated as they have ran over three terrible opponents to start the year. They now come into Tuscaloosa as less than two TD underdogs. This one gets ugly.

55 Percenters

2011 - 2012 Season Record: 4-4-0 (.500)

All Time on ADPTP: 133-133-4 (.500)

Last Post: 4-4 (.500)

posted by Jake

For the second week in a row there will be no podcast on Al Davis Plus the Points. I am really not even sure why we are making news about this seeing as no one listens to that horse shit anyway. Brandon and I missed last week because Brandon had to hang out with his wife and go to the Gap, while I traveled to Madison to go to a strip club and get blacked out drunk for the Badger game (quick word of advice: if an exotic dancer says she has been at a place for 8 years, she will not find it amusing if you ask if it is because she’s in a ‘management training program’). So is the case again, the only difference is I believe Brandon is heading to Macy’s this weekend and I have a wedding to ruin with my problem drinking. You can take comfort in knowing I will be doing badass stuff like reading The Right to Arm Bears on the train just to keep my edge/bad boy persona. Gordon R. Dickson… Christ, even the author sounds like a hardass. Anywho, at some point today I will send Brandon my picks and judging by how well I have been doing assume he will steal directly from them so he is not embarrassed for the third week in a row. After two weeks I am a bananas 19-10-3 ATS so far this season, which makes me kind of depressed that I have not been putting these up as ‘Mikey’s and therefore not betting them. It also makes me insanely nervous for the massive pitfall I will have to bring me back well below .500. But for right now, I have bears carrying assault rifles to worry about.